Discreet conversation between myself and the urinal during my most recent urinalysis test
By lex
Posted on December 19, 2005
Me: So. I was feeling pretty sorry for myself and then I thought, geez: Sucks to be you.
Urinal:
Me: I mean, my part’s relatively easy.
Urinal:
Me: Well, not so very easy. I mean, I’ve been doing this for nearly 28 years now whenever my number pops, and it’s not like I’ve ever had any fun doing it. You’d think maybe that if I was going to be a pothead, I’d have been caught by now. Ya’ know what I mean?
Urinal:
Me: Crazy pothead captain! Woo-hoo! Look at me, at 45 I just started smoking grass!
Urinal:
Me: Reefer madness!
Urinal:
Me: Anyway.
Urinal:
Me: I wish that observer guy would leave off rattling the change in his pocket. It’s distracting.
Urinal: You going to do something, or you just going to stand there all day waving at me?
Me:
Urinal: Punk.
(later)
Urinal: I feel so dirty… So used.
Me: Don’t look at it like that, baby.
Urinal: Call me?
Me: Sure.