Excuses, excuses…

Actually come in handy, sometimes! 🙂  Every single attempt to land an aircraft on an aircraft carrier is graded. The arbiters of an aviator’s performance are officially termed “Landing Signal Officers,” (LSO) or more commonly, when not prefixed by some sobriquet or another, “Paddles.”  After all the landings are completed, the LSO team from the platform on the port-side, aft of the flight deck cheerily (usually) visit each and every Ready Room and debrief each pilot and crew as to their performance.  But regardless of what they say (“you were lined up a little left, made a good correction, but were flat at the ramp”) the grade is the be-all, end-all.  For how you did inevitably winds up on the “Greenie Board” in the Ready Room, your color-coded prowess, or lack thereof, displayed for all to see, and to snark there upon.

The Greenie Board

Whether it be an “Okay,” (or Fleet Average) [OK], a “fair” [(OK)], a “bolter” [B] (good pass but the hook skipped the wires), a “No Grade” [-] (you weren’t unsafe, but…) and the to-be-avoided-at-all-costs “Technique Waveoff” [WO] or a “Cut” [C]  (You ever do that again and somebody’s gonna get hurt), it all goes up there.  On a very rare occasion, when the sun, moon and stars align, the Controlling LSO has had a good day and a pay raise, and you are really, truly on your game; or you’re just flat-out lucky, you will fly the ever-elusive Perfect Pass.  For which the Demi-Gods will reward you with the Perfect Pass, and OK Underlined. [OK__]  And for a brief and shining moment, or until your next pass, You Are A Rock God.

But, for the rest of plebeian world, there’s this:

Ahem, and for all who might have been on certain cruises with certain Air Wings, there’s #14. Paddles talked too much, and 15. Paddles didn’t say anything until it was too late.

HAFND,

Comjam